Twain's Election Day Wisdom and Witticism

As November 4 swiftly approaches, I felt it best to gather here together some pertinent quotes from the master American commentator/humorist himself. As relevant today as ever. Enjoy:

"No party holds the privilege of dictating to me how I shall vote. If loyalty to party is a form of patriotism, I am no patriot. If there is any valuable difference between a monarchist and an American, it lies in the theory that the American can decide for himself what is patriotic and what isn't. I claim that difference. I am the only person in the sixty millions that is privileged to dictate my patriotism."

--The Autobiography of Mark Twain

"Our marvelous latter-day statesmanship has invented universal suffrage. That is the finest feather in our cap. All that we require of a voter is that he... bear a more or less humorous resemblance to the reported image of God. He need not know anything whatever; he may be wholly useless and a cumberer of the earth; he may even be known to be a consummate scoundrel. No matter. While he can steer clear of the penitentiary his vote is as weighty as the vote of a president, a bishop, a college professor, a merchant prince."

--"Universal Suffrage" speech given to Monday Evening Club, 1875

"In this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got--the ballot box."

--November 6, 1905 interview in the Boston Transcript

"If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times."

--The Autobiography of Mark Twain